Dateline - 1969. The man who said this was a sticky nosed brother who used to delight in literally walking in the back door of Brethren homes, with the fervent hope of catching someone - up to something. And this particular day he had struck pay dirt. He nowhad the dirt on us. Normally he only caught the odd young newlywed couple- coupling on the kitchen bench. For a change. Of course - he sought no pleasure from his findings. It all 'pained him very greatly.'
What he was referring to, was the strains of 'Penny Lane' coming from my sleep-out bedroom, from my trusty old tape recorder. "Pre-recorded music is the work of the devil" intoned the pious, self righteoustroublemaker. My father went into temporary orbit and my mother's toes stopped tapping. They were very musical my parents and even though they would never admit it, the Beatles had resonated with them on more than one occasion, although I had been cautioned about playing "I wanna hold your hand" because of the inference of potential sexual thought and /or contact. Which Brethren kids of course - never had.
"Pre-recorded music is evil" I was told. So we played the songs ourselves on our guitars being careful to see who was present first.
Dateline - 2016. Europe. Young Brethren under the handle of 'Northern Talents' are the new music face of the PBCC. Far from being a bunch of kids who like singing - this is a professional group with I suspect, loads of practice time under their belts - released by the Almighty Bruce in a mega music video, which going by the locations would have taken serious time - and tens of thousands to produce.
Brethren can buy the Bruce sanctioned and produced USB device with the album and photos of the group (presumably for teenager's bedrooms walls) in exotic northern European locations, which seem to include the Ice Hotel in Sweden.
The question is here - is there nothing that Bruce won't do to maximise his almighty buck? I mean he's reversed all the rules on computers and mobile phones to a point where the Brethren are more savvy on computers than a lot of evil worldly people. Their lives bristle with 'Aps' and Facebook and connectivity. No problem with that - except that they wrecked hundreds - if not thousands of people's lives for doing far less with a computer. I have no idea how many got the Khyber for their love of pre-recorded music.
And now the evil of pre-recorded music is lifted - so Bruce can see an even bigger return from his captive flock. Will this new regime see a Freddie Mercury or a McCartney emerge from the ranks of the PBCC to become their new pin up idol? Will PBCC girls squeal and swoon? Will there be sobbing and fainting when he walks into the Ministry Meeting?
Well I'm cashing in too. I'm starting a new Brethren Rap Band - so stand by for my first release! We are filming it in the alleys of Brooklyn - a throwback to that bad old days in New York. Look out for 'Sid Moffitt' and 'Grunge Abishag' the lead singers - bringing the soul to you. Direct from MotownErmington New South Wales.