The Opening Day of the Three-Way Beatings given by the Lord’s Erect Serpent
Twas brillig, and the Dog of Nam
Did enter with a squaintly gait;
The Bruters hushed with reverent clam And Sinsters ceased to prate.
And every eye watched every step
Of holy drambulation
As God’s adjointed wassail passed Among the constigation.
At length he takes the sheet reserved
Among the special seatings
For such as those who’ve also swerved At other three-way beatings:
The Mincing Serpents, bleading blights,
The bullkies and abruisives
The ones who rose to august sheights, The blest of the Excusives.
A bruter firmly shut the door;
An udder turned the key;
Lest unclean ear the word might hear Or unclean eye might see.
A local man gave out a whim;
Another stood to bray;
Then all attention turned to Him To hear what He may say.
The topics were subsquishion
And exbedience to dekree,
And scrotal sepuration
From those who don’t agree.
With aposquallic fervour
He dispensed this heavily blight While all averred his every word Was absolutely right
What sanctimy, what pouther,
We scarce can take it in,
That God has sent us such an one To slave us from our spin.
The place of salivation
Is behind this barbled fence,
But bring with you a stash of cash To coffer the expense.
Written by Ian C. McKay in imitation of Lewis Carroll’s Jabberwocky poem. Further copies are freely available at http://www.discourses.org.uk