Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Christmas Day tie a yellow ribbon event

Yellow ribbons of loving remembrance were tied today at Redstone cemetery Redhill, Surrey on a new bench recently donated by the PBCC cult (scroll down for pictures).

A good number of benches have been donated to Parish Councils & Cemeteries in a vain attempt to ingratiate the toxic family destroying cult with the wider public, here's a few that we've noticed:


Park Benches – Donation by Plymouth Brethren Christian Fellowship.

1) It was agreed to accept the kind offer of a park bench.

2) Design selected was Corbridge.

3) Immediate decision was on Station Road by Telephone Kiosk. Clerk to reply and contact Highways

for approval





To consider application to donate a Park Bench by Plymouth Brethren Christian Church Resolved: To approve a timber constructed park bench to be placed in the Recreation Ground on the boundary with 2000 Centre, to be maintained by the Council following donation.



The Town Council of Royal Leamington Spa Warwickshire

To consider the donation of a Park bench by the Brethren Christian Fellowship.



Groby Parish Council

The Clerk advised that the Brethren Christian Fellowship, a charity who continually benefit the

public and local community, have set aside some funds for an offer to donate a new park bench to

Groby Parish. Three (3) types of benches to choose from – due to Health & safety reasons, the offer

is a supply only donation, however a further donation to cover fitting costs could also be made. The

Trust would like to include a plaque to indicate that it was donated by the Trust.

RESOLVED unanimously to place this item on the agenda for the next Parks & Cemetery

Committee meeting for further discussion.



Brundall Parish Council

Donation offer of a park bench to the parish

Cllr Nurden declared a non-disclosable pecuniary interest in the agenda item. He left

the room and took no part in the discussions or voting.

Cllr Davies took the chair.

It was resolved by a unanimous decision to accept the offer of the bench from the

Plymouth Christian Brethren.

The Council opted for Logic Millennium Standard bench and the location would be in

the Cemetery to the right of the grave spaces near to the planted tree so that visitors

can be seated near to the graves.

Cllr Nurden returned to the room and resumed the chair.


Thorpe St Andrew Town Council Meeting

. Donation of park bench

The Brethren Christian Fellowship had offered to donate a park bench for community use.

Mr J. M. Ward proposed, seconded by Miss S. P. Lawn, that the offer of a Corbridge teak

bench was taken up. On a show of hands it was RESOLVED to accept the offer and to

suggest a location on the grass verge near the electricity sub-station opposite 56a Thunder Lane





The Offer of a new bench received from The Brethren Christian Fellowship was widely

accepted and it was

RESOLVED that the Millennium bench would be chosen and to be placed in Fryer Field

Voting: Unanimous


Sprowston Town Council


RESOLVED to accept the offer of a park bench (millennium metal) from the

Brethren Christian Fellowship to be placed at Wilks Farm Drive open space.


Fen Meadow

The Plymouth Brethren Christian Church has very kindly donated a recycled - plastic bench to the Town Council.  This has been installed at the upper end of Fen Meadow close to Fen Walk.

Councillor Charles Notcutt, Town Mayor has officially unveiled the seat in its new location and can be seen admiring the view across the Meadow to St Marys Church.



To ratify the recommendation regarding the type and siting of the bench donation

by Plymouth Brethren Christian Church – It was unanimously RESOLVED to ratify the

recommendation of the Property Committee that a wooden bench be located in Bill Bailey’s Memorial

Field as it was felt that the links to young people made this site particularly relevant to the church.


Bristol City Council



- Installation of a metal bench (includes concrete base) by the Childrens Play

Area for Arnos Court Park, donated by the Plymouth Brethren Christian

Church - £370





Two representatives of the Plymouth Brethren joined the meeting.  

Their organisation has kindly offered to donate a bench to the village and it has been suggested that this could be sited on the new Community Space.  Three designs are available and details will be forwarded to the councillors for their choice. Landscaping should be completed by the end of June and a site meeting will be arranged to decide location of the new bench.  A plaque will be included as well as the cost of installation.   The chairman said the gift was much appreciated and thanked the Plymouth Brethren on behalf of the Parish Council.

Cllrs Burns gave some background information on the project which is now known as Benhall “Community Play Space” and is run by a group of parents headed by Rachel Nightingale.  The contractor is Simon Leonard.  


Minutes of BFRA AGM Held on 22nd February 2013

A bench and disabled access to the play park by the shops have now been installed. The

bench was kindly donated by Plymouth Brethren Christian Church for which we are very

grateful. The disabled access and the installation of the bench were funded by the Parish.

We hope that these new facilities will be an asset to those using this play area.



Kesgrave Town Council 

The Town Council had been approached by the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church who wished to donate a bench to the Town and, if accepted all they ask is for a plaque to be attached, acknowledging the donation. The Committee was presented with three different types of benches and agreed the all metal type was preferred. However, the Committee asked if it would be possible to provide or part fund a bench similar to those already located in the Town to give continuity. The Deputy Clerk will investigate.




The Parish Council was pleased to note that the bench donated by the local Plymouth Brethren Christian Church had now been installed in the Queen Street shopping area.


Meeting of Frampton Cotterell Parish Council

Donation of bench for The Park

Pursuant to Minute 605, the Clerk reported that the bench offered by the Plymouth Brethren Christian

Church, with back support, would match those already in situ at The Park. Two quotations for the

installation of the bench had been obtained. Members considered the most suitable location for the new

bench and


x (1) subject to consultation with the rugby and cricket clubs, the bench be located along the

boundary adjacent to the rugby pitch;

x (2) the quotation from Mr C Belcher for the installation of the bench in the sum of £200 be

accepted; and

x (3) the Council’s sincere thanks for their generous donation be extended to the PCB Church.


Hyde Park Cemetery


Donated Benches

Earlier this year the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church in Doncaster Kinly offered to donate two more benches for installation in Hyde Park Cemetery.  We thank them very much indeed for this generous gesture.  The benches were recently fabricated by ET Developments.


Blofield Parish Council



The council expressed their thanks to the Brethren and Mr Goodenough. The council agreed that

this bench should be placed by the Town Pit. A decision on which style of bench will be delayed

until the area has been cleared of excessive growth and an improvement plan developed. The

council resolved to approve the expenditure of up to £500 (excluding VAT) of section 106 funds to

cut back the excessive growth around the Town Pit and get this area tidy. Clerk to contact the

Garden Guardian to carry out this work. The council will then consider further improvements and

placement of the bench to make this area pleasant and enjoyable for the community



Donation of Public Seat

The Council is grateful to the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church for its generous donation of a new hardwood bench at Cutlers Green.  Lovely to see it being used so creatively!



A donation has been received from the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church for the purchase of a picnic

table at the recreation field and a bench on Manor Road play area.



Windmill Estates Residents Panel – Thanking Council for the donated bench from the

congregation of the Plymouth Brethren which is greatly appreciated by residents; another resident

pleased with new one in Home End.



Play Area - Cllr Gibbs - Plymouth Brethren has come up with a solution to fix the donated bench to the existing concrete base using a resin. RoSPA inspection is due next month, Cllr Gibbs feared that they would mark down the play area’s existing springer equipment and asked the Clerk if it was worthwhile making contact with them informing them of the imminent replacements. The Clerk said that the report would be based on the equipment that is in place and being used at this time so felt that getting in contact would not be beneficial. The gate at the top end of the play area needs to be padlocked closed so prevent children from playing with it and leaving it open.




of £1000.00 and practical assistance by the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church – noted  with grateful thanks.




  1. Magic mate, great work!


  2. Let's hope that loads of people scan the QR codes on their smart phones and view the TYR video

  3. Anything can be hijacked by the PBCC Ltd for publicity and gain. Even the gesture of leaving a bench in memory of departed loved ones. It is a pity that local councils are duped by this cunning cult. Would they accept something similar from The Church of Scientology?

    Well done to those involved in this yellow ribbon display; very effective and more in tune with the usual purpose of donating benches. May all such benches be eventually so adorned, and photos sent to local councils and the press.


  4. How appropriate that a bench donated by the PBCC Ltd, for publicity and gain, should now be returned to the most usual purpose of such donations - the remembrance of loved ones.

    It is a pity that local councils are duped by this cunning cult. Would they accept something similar from The Church of Scientology ?

    Well done to TYR for this effort. I hope more ribbons will adorn other benches and photographed for local councils and the press.


  5. Dear Anonymous - the ribbons will continue to be tied but we really would appreciate others joining in more and doing the same! At the moment all this is largely the work of a small group - be good to make it a much larger group tying ribbons all round the world. As Joan says, love is invincible and if this love is shown more widely, who knows what might happen!

  6. Ribbons may not be the answer to people being reunited with other family members.
    The brethren cannot and will not allow this, so it may be more productive to pray and see what God can do. I think this kind of thing shows people have not accepted what has happened. It is therefore better to be realistic and allow God to change things, rather than trying to force it.

    1. It is interesting that I had my first phonecall from a family member since the 'review' over 9 years just days after tying a ribbon with his name on it..and he paid me a surprise visit this month too!

    2. The EB banned computers, refused to allow children to do Computer Studies at school - it was The Devil's Tool, we were told. Then it affected their businesses so they changed their stance.
      At the moment, their public image is important due to the CC case possibly taking away their ill-gotten charitable status (exempting them from Income Tax, a valuable perk). Maybe, just maybe, if they see that this awful Separation Enforcement is damaging their image, they may see that this too could be their undoing with the CC, and so soften the punishments meted out to all those found not adhering to that Doctrine.
      The main push behind the vast majority of the yellow ribbons, and the ethos of the group that initiated this movement, is to show those we love that we do just that: LOVE them. And MISS them. This doesn't mean that those who DO pray AREN'T praying alongside this action. It is also helpful to some of us - me included - to put a ribbon up with a loved one's name on and see it fluttering freely in the wind, tied on the huge and strong EB-erected barriers that symbolically illustrate the harsh reality of peeb Separation Doctrine.

    3. Interestingly the EB/PBCC are not taking their own advice and doing nothing but praying... they are furiously running around pretending to be charitable, using a hugely expensive PR company to spread public lies about their so-called loving family lives and supposed community work - all the while ignoring the above unbiblical comment of "just pray - God will do the rest!!" Thank God that His servants in the Bible did a whole lot more than just pray, even Jesus actually DID something to save us.

      I for one, will never ever accept my family being stolen off me, as it is uncaring, unloving, unchristian, unbiblical, cruel and unnecessary; it is also totally illegal, and I read in the Bible that we should all obey the authorities... Jesus never ignored me, no matter what I did and I am His family, and He is the example, so I cannot ignore my own family either.

  7. Anonymous - Very well spotted to note: "this kind of thing shows people have not accepted what has happened". Of course it's not accepted. That's because it is cruel, unChristian and there is absolutely no biblical basis to support it. Perhaps you would like to outline where it suggests in the Bible where there should be prayer without action?

    1. Marion - you have a good point. However, praying IS doing something and it's an action which is positive. If you trust in God, he will never fail you. In my own life, I discovered he IS the answer, as compared to giving one.
      I would suggest approaching the elders of your former church to see if they can help you find closure. Just change your mindset and be open to suggestion from them. It might just work. Personally, I've found that they do care and will do what they can to help. Ribbons on church gates may only serve to promote the cause of people wishing the brethren harm and even cause a wider chasm between former members and their families inside the PBCC.

    2. Dear Anonymous 2 January 2014 15:11,

      Your suggestion of "approaching the elders of your former church" is a good one, but it's quite likely that, in the case of the Hales Exclusive Brethren, such a move will not achieve truth and reconciliation.

      This is because, as well as ecclesiastical separation, this group of Exclusive Brethren practises separation from non-Brethren individuals. It was a directive from their 1960s' leader, James Taylor Jnr, that told them that "invariably" (his word) "uncleanness comes over the table" if they ate or drank with a non-member. He also informed them that people in the denominations were "spiritual fornicators".

      The elders still adhere to his rigid view of interpersonal separation. It's the reason why my and others' children and grandchildren are not considered suitable classroom companions for their children; it accounts for the fact that HEB young people aren't allowed to go away to university; it explains why these Exclusive Brethren people live in detached houses.

      A mindset that holds that the core Christian commandment is to love God, to love your neighbour as yourself and (here Jesus was most radical) to love and do good to your opposer, seems not to be shared by the elders of the Hales Exclusive Brethren. (I speak from experience because I've tried to form a positive, friendly, inclusive relationship with senior UK HEB elders - but to no avail.)

      Marion and others may have more encouraging experiences if they approach ordinary Christian members of this group of Exclusive Brethren, rather than the elders, though even that can be heartbreakingly futile. It's immensely sad that not only are these Exclusive Brethren prevented from showing inclusive love to others, their separatist position also means they can't receive love from outsiders either. It's a double whammy of lack of love.

      I wish everyone who'd like to experience restored relationships with their Hales Exclusive Brethren family and friends every success in their endeavours and I uphold them all in my prayers.

    3. Anonymous, like I said, prayer without action is meaningless. If someone was starving and approached you for food and you had more than enough, would you share your food with him, or just tell him you would pray for him while you continued to eat.? Get my point?

      I cannot believe you suggesting a change of mindset when what the brethren are doing is unGodly. For them to practice separation in the name of God brings Christianity into disrepute. Ribbons will continue to be tied and not only on church gates. You may like to read Helen's comment on this subject.

    4. Marion - Hang on in there and be open to help. Prayer before action does mean something. I understand all too well the pain of missing family members and children in my own situation, so maybe you can think about the point I make about prayer. I have often acted on impulse in the past when things were pretty awful and very unfair, but I can say that a simple prayer can not only change a mindset, but also work in the minds of those who have caused offense. Indeed, why not look at a a different approach. It can open doors and did so in my own life. Good luck. Don't shut doors that are let open.

    5. It's the HEB who've shut all the doors. They call it separation.

    6. Joan, I always read EVERY WORD of your posts on here. But I was particularly ticked by your phrase...

      "It's a double whammy of lack of love."

      Thanks for your input, it is appreciated.


    7. Anonymous from 2 and 3 January

      Firstly, please can you reveal your name? Who are you? Why do you choose to hide behind an anonymous post?

      Secondly, the actions of tying ribbons of remembrance is hardly acting impulsively. Incidentally, you may wish to look up the meaning of the word "impulsive" - adjective: "tending to act without thought". The word "impulsive" certainly does not describe people who have put a great deal of thought into trying to get messages of love to their families. Those who are tying ribbons with messages for families they miss and from whom they should not be separated are doing so after years and years, decades for some, of detriment and harm they have suffered from the Exclusive Brethren and their cruel separatist regime.

      Thirdly, what makes you think that there has been no prayer involved in tying of ribbons? What puts you in a position to judge the minds and actions of numerous people whom you don't know personally, so therefore have no idea whether or not they are Christians?

      Fourthly, by the brethren's own doctrine doors are shut. You might be interested to take a look at this link: http://wikipeebia.com/marion-evans-her-very-personal-story/

      Fifthly, I am currently in the process of writing a book. I have received so much encouragement to do so, firstly from my own father, a member of the Exclusive Brethren and also from numerous real Christians who are horrified to hear how people who purport to be Christians treat those who leave. By the way, Christian means "Christ-like". The Exclusive Brethren are certainly not Christ-like and would probably not associate with Jesus himself if he turned up at their meeting room! The real truth of the brethren WILL be known.

    8. To one of the Anonymouses! I think it is daft to suggest Marion changes her mindset. She was wronged, massively wronged, as I am sure you know, deep down. It would undoubtedly be better for the wrongdoers to change their mindset, would it not? You saying they 'CAN'T' change their stance on Separation does have a ring or truth about it, as this is the one thing that keeps the MoG in power - and he knows it. Recalling Separation Doctrine would truly be shooting himself in the foot, commercially.

  8. Annonymous 1 January 2014 18.08
    Out of interest - what is it "the brethren cannot and will not allow'? Ribbons being tied to remember our families, or being reunited with our families?

  9. Thanks Jack / Marion - The brethren ARE about the preservation of the family.
    Take a brief look at the breakdown of the traditional family and society in the UK and suddenly what the brethren have doesn't seem so bad at all.
    Yes, remembering families is what we ALL do, including those who are left inside.

    They clearly love us and we love them. However, writing books about these people does not produce anything positive and does not unite, rather the opposite effect is evident. The book written in New Zealand for example, has not helped either the writer or those who have read it. It was an act of selfishness and selfishness is destructive. If we are occupied with the teachings and the life of Christ, we cannot write books about the brethren. Being Christ- like is to be forgiving in our outlook, which would render us unable to hold something against these people.

    Again, I would point people to the life of Christ and be open to changing their thinking. It does actually bring peace and closure to a troubled state of heart and mind. Having suffered personally too for may years, I woke up one day and realised a change of mindset was needed. It means we don't need to think ill of the brethren, but rather search our own hearts and find rest in the wonderful person of Christ. As previously posted, he IS the answer, as compared with demanding one.

    Marion, with all due respect, you don't speak for all of us. There are many like myself who have left the brethren over the years who do not share you view.
    It is HOW we deal with what has happened that counts. To write about the brethren is a non starter. Have a rethink and you will find it is not compatible with the Christian conscience.
    If we are really in the gain of Christianity, it would stop us from thinking badly of these people and also serve to bring about the desired objective of unity.

    Hitting out at the brethren or writing stories about them solves absolutely nothing.

    1. Compared to the Western public at large, they probably do come out shiny; however where the Taliban have a stronghold you may find that there, too, the divorce stats are low too. The church I attend has a low divorce rate too, as do many churches, I shouldn't wonder. The families broken by Separation Doctrine don't come up in the Census, unfortunately. Maybe those affected SHOULD shout louder, methinks, like Jesus parable of the Persistent Widow. It would be interesting to investigate just how many families are broken by Separation, worldwide...

  10. Anonymous – you seem to have blanked my first four points, but it seems my comment about writing a book has riled you somewhat.

    You indicate you are an ex EB, but the caliber of your comments leads me to think that perhaps you are actually a member of the brethren. There seems to be a presence of the perpetual brainwashing that is synonymous in every cult.

    You can defend the brethren ad infinitum, but to me and countless others, what the brethren do in separating families is bad, worse than bad. It’s evil. To cut someone off just because of a different view on faith is absurd and what’s more, it’s against God. The quote on the brethren’s website “the family is at the heart of everything we do”, couldn’t be further from the truth when it comes to those who see the light and leave to pursue a different way of life.

    Of course I don’t speak for everyone, I have never professed to. Out here, “individual” is just that, individual. We all have differing views and we certainly don’t have the brethren’s “corporate conscience”.

    I am not going to defend my actions in writing a book. If you don’t want to read it, that’s your choice. There are plenty that do want to, so my book is for them, and if it helps even one single person struggling to escape from sad entrapment in the brethren then it will be more than worthwhile. It may even be cathartic to people who have left and who are struggling to readjust, having had all family ties cruelly severed. It’s about bringing the truth to the public and helping those who are hurting.

    1. Marion - Firstly, my genuine hope is that you will not go further down the road of writing stories about the brethren. There are some that have gone the whole way to commit an act of treachery, which is against everything they know to be right. It's really the spirit of Judas rearing its ugly head.

      Secondly, writing books about the brethren will not help you or anyone else, rather the opposite. To do such a thing shows lack of love and an unwillingness to consider some (real) advice. Furthermore, if you can't defend something that is wrong, don't do it.

      My impression is you may have been swayed by the likes of Jill Mytton and Co. Whilst these people might appear helpful and even kind, they will only mislead and take you down the path of treachery. These people are not only utterly treacherous, but they will be gone when it all backfires in spectacular fashion.

      Lastly, there are plenty of people out there like Jill, who will tell you what you want to hear, but does it really help? I think not. She is involved up to her neck in all sorts of activities that don't help anyone.
      Please don't get me wrong, I happen to know about the trauma, hurt and stress people go through after leaving the brethren. Having been passed through the same thing myself, I can at least speak with some personal experience. However, it is better to deal with it in a way that is in keeping with Christian principles and turn the negative into what is positive.
      You might feel upset or even angry at my words, but I think on reflection you will see there is truth and kindness behind it. Having a rethink is not weak, rather it is wise. Not only have I proved this in my own situation, but I want to witness to others that there is another way to solve problems and bring about unity. Try it.

    2. Anonymous, you seem to have a very strange understanding of the love we should have of our fellow human beings through Christ Jesus... He is our example, and He laid down His life for us ALL... The Bible reminds us also of God's love for His creation, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son so that we might have eternal life." This is the example of what God expects from us, and Jesus Himself says the greatest love is this, to lay down one's life for one's friend. The Bible is very clear, that family is God-ordained, God-given, children are a blessing from God and parents are to be honoured by children. The Exclusive Brethren now PBCC ignore all of this, and compel children to turn against parents (not honouring them) and parents to refuse God's blessings of children in their lives... what a huge insult and mockery to God for His great gifts of family.

      You seem unable to see that this love of God and the example of Jesus is the kind of love behind the yellow ribbons of remembrance, being a way of demonstrating the usually un-requited love we have for our families; this love is Biblical and modeled by Jesus - as one who loves us all and even died for us all, no matter what we do, how we behave or even what we say. If the brethren could understand just even a tiny bit of the depth of this kind of agape love, they would not continue to refuse to accept the love and gifts of their God-given family as blessings from our heavenly Father.

  11. Anonymous - I do not think badly of the brethren Only of the system of fear that controls them. You seem to be asking us to pray - How do you know that I don't pray? And you haven't answered my question - what is it the brethren "cannot and will not allow".?

  12. Anonymous, so you still blank my first four points. Interesting!

    You are of course entitled to your opinion, but I'm afraid however you try to scaremonger, using words such as "treachery", won't make a difference. I didn’t say I “can’t” defend writing a book. I said I’m not going to. I have no need to. I don’t owe anyone an explanation for choosing to share my experiences with others.

    It amuses you that you speak in such a way of Jill Mytton, whilst yourself hiding behind anonymity. Funnily enough, I have in fact, very recently met Jill. However, I started writing my book quite some time before I ever met her and I don’t think she even knows about it.

    Mr Anonymous, you do not know me either. I am my own person with my own conscience and my own drive and I don’t need anyone to steer or mould me. I had enough of that in the brethren, which is why I left. Have you ever met Jill? If not, I am amazed that you can pass such damning criticism on someone whom you don’t know personally.

    I am not angry at all, Mr Anonymous. I do feel sorry for you though that you are going to such lengths to try to MAKE me think the way you do. If I wanted to be told what to think I would be back in the brethren. All people are different, as I said in my last post, we are all individuals. You must do what is right for you and act however you feel led. Likewise, the same applies to me.

    I think I have made my point now and really don’t want to waste any more of my time on this matter. It’s your choice if you wish to continue trying to make me see yours, but I see little value in continuing this protracted exchange because, clearly, we have different views. So, for me, I will agree to disagree and will not comment further on your posts on this particular blog.

  13. Anonymous,
    You appear to be advocating a type of 'Christianity' that hides inaction behind pious phrases and a covering of religious terms. As Christians we are called to forgive, but this does not mean at the expense of truth. As Christians we are called to avoid, expose, run from and protect ourselves from heretics and false prophets like Bruce Hales, who have twisted Scripture to suit their own thinking and have left a trail of destruction behind them - not only evident in broken families but also in the minds and souls of many still within the EB - people who think that their salvation lies in belonging to the EB, who think that a righteous life is one lived ensconced away from the rest of the world - the world that Jesus came and pitched his tent among, the world he came to love and live and die for.

    I would encourage you to read Scripture... and you will see that the way of life forced onto the EB by the elders and likes of Bruce Hales, is far from the life that Jesus lived, or that Paul lived. It is utter blasphemy to say that BDH is the 'Paul of our day'; Paul lived a far different life and did not drink the way BDH does, or live a life of bizarre separation from our 'neighbours' the way the EB do... I am so sorry that you have experienced pain at the hands of the EB... but I am more sorry that you are happy to allow them to continue with the abusive, repressive mind control and spiritual abuse that they are still continuing to practice.

    It is in keeping with Christian principles to speak up about false prophets, to seek to protect others from them, to seek to bring truth where lies (from the Father of lies) are tying people up spiritually and physically. These are the Christian principles motivating the likes of Marion and Jill... if we claim to be Christian and are not striving to live by these principles, I think we may be in for a horrified surprise when we try to tell Jesus one day when we stand before Him... "But I was praying for them, Lord... ".... we must not only pray but DO... or we may hear Him say then, “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?" (Luke 6.46).

  14. Closure cannot happen until there is justice. Justice means that wherever possible wrongs are made right. In the case of the PBCC this means that families are reunited. Perhaps when Anonymous next speaks with the PBCC they might remind them "to deal with it in a way that is in keeping with Christian principles"


  15. As I came out of church this morning I wondered how our congregation and minister would react if yellow ribbons had been nailed to our church door or to the bench outside. I asked a member of the congregation what he thought would happen. He replied, "We'd be delighted. We'd do our best immediately to contact and embrace all those who'd written."

    Yellow ribbons are such a gentle and dignified way of conveying that people are loved and, in my view, they should be accepted for the tokens they are - and a positive, warm response should be made to the authors of the messages.

    I increasingly feel that the PBCC finds normal communication difficult, and I wonder if this is partly because the leadership is male and unaccustomed to accepting initiatives by women. That may be one reason why the PBCC hasn't responded encouragingly to the yellow ribbons - and it may explain, too, why an Anonymous writer on this blog appears to have it in for Marion, Jill and me!

  16. Anonymous wrote: "Take a brief look at the breakdown of the traditional family and society in the UK and suddenly what the brethren have doesn't seem so bad at all."

    With few exceptions - such as the JWs and Scientologists - I have not come across another 'church' which breaks families up when a member holds a different view, forcing separation from loved ones.

  17. There must be at least ten autobiographies already written about life among the Exclusive Brethren, some of them harrowing and horrifying, and there are several more in the pipeline. There are also dozens written about life among similar sects and they all provide very useful raw material for those who make a serious study of the phenomenon of such organizations, trying to make sense of how they work and why they exist and how best to help those who are damaged by them. Marion is a lucid and engaging writer and I expect her book will be useful too.

    There are several reasons why non-Brethren, particularly people in other churches and healthcare professionals, find it useful to learn about the problems of Brethrenism through reading these books.

    First, it makes them better qualified to offer friendly understanding, pastoral care and professional help to those who escape, who are often severely traumatized by their experience, often cut off from all their friends and family and financial support, and sometimes homeless.

    Secondly, the process by which the Taylorite EB evolved into an abusive, controlling organization is well worth studying, so that members of other churches can recognise the danger signs and intervene if it begins to happen to their own church.

    Thirdly, if you know how organizations like that work, you can guard yourself and your friends against being recruited by something similar.

    Fourthly, I think it is on balance beneficial to expose the misdeeds of cult leaders, because that is the main way in which they can be restrained from further abuses of their power, and their followers partly protected, especially the children, most of whom have no realistic hope of escape.

    Fifthly, legislators, Family Courts, Government departments of education, Social Services, regulators like the Charity Commission and police forces need to understand the phenomenon of such religious organizations, because they are often implicated in difficult legislative, judicial and administrative decisions that have to be made. Books about the Brethren help such non-Brethren to understand the problems associated with religious extremism.

    Cult leaders who are exposed by the publication of such books may intensely dislike the exposure, because they may have a lot to hide, but there are many others who find such books useful and beneficial. On balance, I think the benefits outweigh the distress. Such books reveal the truth and facilitate understanding, and in the long run, truth and understanding are nearly always beneficial.

  18. Well said Ian. Agree with it all. I see more yellow ribbons were tied today in Chippenham.


  19. For the record, I have never personally been involved with the Brethren in any form nor with any high demand organisation.

    Anonymous 1, I find several curious discrepancies in your thinking expressed in your comments that began on 1 January.

    1. Indeed, for a religious person, it would make sense to see what God might do with all this through prayer. However, have you considered the possibility that people choosing to tie yellow ribbons for their loved ones and stating that the Brethren’s separation policy is wrong, cruel, or harmful is God in action? Perhaps God has given them the courage to tie the yellow ribbons. There are numerous examples throughout history and the Bible where God, having given us all free will, may have facilitated the exercise of free will for the good, but has not actually been seen to directly intervene.

    2. In your response to Marion of 2 January, you state that “Ribbons on church gates may only serve to promote the cause of people wishing the brethren harm and even cause a wider chasm between former members and their families inside the PBCC.”

    You seem to have made a vast assumption, that anyone wishes the Brethren harm and/or that tying yellow ribbons up will cause harm. This sounds similar to the magical thinking evident in some psychological issues – if a yellow ribbon is tied it will cause harm is similar to if I don’t wash my hands 20 times I will get sick.

    You also suggest that Marion “approach the elders” of her former church. It may have been your experience that these people have been helpful to you. Unfortunately, it is the experience of many who read this blog and other sources that they are spectacularly unhelpful. Assuming that others will have the same experience as yourself is faulty logic (I have only seen black swans, therefore all swans are black).

  20. 4. In your post of 1 January you state “The brethren cannot and will not allow this...” Oh really? And what exactly will they do to people who exercise their legal right to protest? Is this a threat of some kind?

    5. Your post of 4 January is particularly interesting. You state “Take a brief look at the breakdown of the traditional family and society in the UK and suddenly what the brethren have doesn't seem so bad at all. Yes, remembering families is what we ALL do, including those who are left inside.”

    Is it not the case that the policy of separation and shutting up breaks down families? If people are not allowed to see their families or communicate freely when they wish, does this not break down the family structure? Parents die, babies are born, but those who are out are not allowed to participate in the life cycle of their old or new.

    Further, in getting people to believe in the Brethren, in fact have not the Brethren attempted to break down society? To get people to join or remain, the Brethren use psychological persuasion techniques designed to remove free will and the right to choice that are common to other contexts well-known to be harmful to people, e.g. Parental Alienation and Fascist/Communist/totalitarian regimes. The content is usually about how the society the person previously lived in is evil, bad, or diseased in some way, and that only adhering to the regime of the persuader will bring happiness.

    Letters people have received from those still in have seemed to remember their families who are out in a vitriolic and negative manner. That is what you all do.

    6. Coming to your post of 4 January where you mention Jill Mytton “and Co.”, what evidence do you have that any of these people are misleading anyone, whether intentionally or not, or that anyone has been taken “down the path of treachery”? What treachery are you referring to? How do you propose that these “utterly treacherous” people will “be gone”? What does “be gone” mean? How do you foresee what backfiring?

    You then state “Lastly, there are plenty of people out there like Jill, who will tell you what you want to hear, but does it really help? I think not. She is involved up to her neck in all sorts of activities that don't help anyone.”

    You seem to be making accusations and I am curious as to what those accusations specifically are. What are “all sorts of activities” and what evidence do you have that these alleged activities “don’t help anyone”?

    By saying that Jill tells people what they want to hear but it is not helpful, you are assuming that those who have left the Brethren are somehow bewitched in the same manner that the Brethren ensnared them in the first place. Further, your statement seems to contain the notion that those who have left are functioning mindlessly, having no free will, power of choice, or ability to think rationally. To the contrary, those I have met who have left the Brethren seem to have exerted their free will and right to choice and are now, in some cases for the first time in their lives, thinking very rationally. Are you suggesting that someone who chooses to live differently to you and/or the Brethren only does so because someone has persuaded or forced them? Is someone who thinks differently to you in the wrong?

  21. 3. In your post of 3 January, you state that tying the yellow ribbons was done impulsively, suggesting also that all impulsivity is a bad thing. Many emotions and behaviours that are considered of negative valance in fact have evolutionary value and so a positive face to them – e.g. anger serves a survival purpose. Some of the world’s most innovative and helpful ideas have been sparked by an impulsive thought that is then developed.

    On what are you basing your conclusion that tying the yellow ribbons was done impulsively? How do you know this? Gathering people together, buying yellow ribbon and pens, thinking about what to write – surely this must have taken some planning and consideration? The opposite of impulsivity?

  22. Interestingly Anonymous mentions the treachery of Judas, forgetting that Jesus Himself willingly sat down and had the last supper/communion/breaking of bread with Judas, fully knowing who he was and what he was going to do... kind of makes the EB/PBCC stance of separation from people that they consider evil and not breaking bread with anyone sinning a bit of a moot point, if you take Jesus as the example...

  23. Anonymous also writes, "The brethren ARE about the preservation of the family. Take a brief look at the breakdown of the traditional family and society in the UK and suddenly what the brethren have doesn't seem so bad at all." Really??!!

    Actually anonymous,l I have had family in the brethren and out, and sorry but the kind of family that I experienced in the brethren was HELL on earth... abuse, and violence and neglect, which is backed up by medical professionals for at least two members of the family and possibly more. The brethren have done nothing to see that the perpetrator got help, and have also horrifically punished the victims... something that is not usual in the 'outside' world. I now have a very loving and supporting family, who have not ever done anything like that to me or any member of my family I have now - a far cry from the terrible life I experienced in my brethren family - the repercussions which are still being felt by other members of my family.

    I have also been a member of quite a few other Churches in 25 years of being away from this, and have never seen anyone there who needed help being denied this, rather I have experienced them being encouraged to get help. I would far rather have the honesty, openness and support of these genuine Christians, than all the deceit, denial and destruction of any 'brethren family'.

    I would like to note here that the perpetrator has had complaints made against them by quite a few different organizations, yet still the brethren do nothing about keeping others safe from this person, or to get them any help for their problem, which is in itself a crime in this country. If anyone knows about family violence and does nothing to report it, they become party to it. I note the Bible tells us we are to obey the authorities, and part of this is not covering up abuse in families.

    I think perhaps it would be beneficial if you were better informed before speaking without the knowledge of what really goes on in brethren families and mine is far from the only experience like this.