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Saturday, 26 October 2013

Experiences at funerals of both Ex & HEB/PBCC members.

I have read some harrowing renditions of experiences at HEB/PBCC funerals and have been precluded  from those of close relatives myself.
Could those who have experienced similar tell their story here?

9 comments:

  1. My mother explicitly stated before she died, that if her son (still in the brethren) wanted to come to her funeral he should be allowed to do so PROVIDED that he stood with us and not separate. My brother is the only one of her children who did not leave. We told my brother what she had said. When she died, we informed him and told him when the funeral was and where and asked that if he comes he observes his mother's wishes and stands with us. On the day, he was there, standing some 100 metres away under the trees with his wife and another couple, presumably brethren. He ignored his mother's plea and did not stand with us.

    I suppose and according to Hales, she could not call herself a christian and neither could we, because we had left and therefore he could not stand with us?

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  2. Shortly before my father (who was in the HEB) passed away, my brother and I requested to be allowed to visit with him. This request was denied by the Hales Exclusive Brethren. He passed away a couple of months later and was buried before we were even told that he had passed away. This is the kind of thing that the PBCC/HEB do to people who cause trouble for them. My brother and I had never caused a speck of trouble for them.

    At the same time that my father was dying, my older brother was also dying from cancer. He had been kicked out of the family home, on the instruction of the Hales Exclusive Brethren, at the age of 15 with no means of support. There was virtually no contact with him from the family members inside the HEB for over 30 years but when they found out he was dying, all of a sudden the HEB felt this huge need to meet with him to ensure the salvation of his soul. They were extremely forceful about insisting that they needed to meet with him. He refused all contact with them and they were so insistent that finally my younger brother had to get on the phone and tell the HEB in no uncertain terms that they were not to come and visit.

    A couple of years later my mother (in the HEB) passed away. My brother and I were allowed to see her body and were allowed to go to the graveside. NOTE - WE WERE NOT ALLOWED TO GO TO THE FUNERAL SERVICE - IN A MEETING ROOM WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PUBLIC CHARITABLE FACILITY. At the graveside we had to stay back until the brethren had finished committing the body and had filled in the grave. These were all people that I had grown up with and of the entire group, I remember two people coming up to talk to us. The rest acted as if we did not exist. Such a loving Christian group they are - NOT!

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  3. Is this thread something to do with Halloween?

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    1. This is a serious thread. The Exclusive Brethren movement led by Australian Furniture salesman Bruce David Hales are known for this kind of appalling behaviour. I have witnessed with my own ears and eyes how the Exclusives: don't tell non-brethren relatives of a death until after burial, advise non-brethren relatives of incorrect burial locations, and tell non-brethren attendees at the cemetery to go away and stand elsewhere until the brethren have finished the burial. This is not a spoof, and has nothing to do with Halloween. This is serious abuse that the Exclusive Brethren inflict on those who are not members of their cult.

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  4. I too was not informed of the deaths of my father and some 20 years later of my mother until 3-4 weeks after their burials. My husband and I left the Exclusive Brethren after the disgraceful behaviour of the then leader James Taylor junior in 1970.
    As a result we were unable to pay our last respects to my parents.

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  5. I was neither informed of my elder brother's death, nor of his funeral in 1983. When my sister's husband, Leslie Whitbourn, died in 2000 he was buried (at his request) by the brethren. My sister who was out of fellowship was not invited to a service in the room but sat herself a little way back from the open grave for the burial. The brethren arrived and stood with their backs to her, she heard not a word that was said and they left without any of them speaking to her. She had been in fellowship there (Norwich) for 23 years.

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    Replies
    1. This is very important information for Parliamentarians

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    2. I remember when I was in the EB we turned our backs when an 'out' showed up at the cemetery during a burial. We even packed ourselves tightly to prevent her (the daughter of the deceased) from seeing anything. Dreadful behaviour,

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  6. To be strictly fair, I think the EB have improved their practices ever-so-slightly since the 80s. E.g. when my EB mum died a few years ago, my dad phoned immediately afterwards to let me know. He said he'd rather I didn't go to the funeral, so out of respect for his wishes, I didn't - but still haven't grieved properly.

    Some of my exEB friends & relatives have attended EB graveside services in recent years, & the EB have at least been polite to them, though still very controlling about where they were to stand (off to the side) etc. So I think they've generally improved a bit, but still MILES off anything that could be described as inclusive or charitable (in the non-monetary sense of the word) in their behaviour re funerals.

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